Alright, this is embarrassing, but definitely more frustrating. I spent two hours today writing the longest blog post I've ever written. It was great, I was real happy with it. I go to click publish and it sends me to a screen that says Error 404 and my post is gone. I cursed loudly. I slammed my desk. I punched my bed (walls are too hard, I like punching soft things). Over 1500 words gone forever, into the wind. But I still need to write today, because it's the last time I likely will for a few weeks. So here is my effort to try and recreate what I had written, and it will be shorter. Here goes nothing...
Ever since I've had hair, there's been one constant in my life. There was one woman that stuck by my side through thick and thin, fads, trends, and phases of all sorts. Her name is Claudia. Her hands are thin and delicate, yet strong. Claudia has been the only lady cutting my hair my whole life, except for a few flings with other women that were all one night stands and never brought the same satisfaction. She was always willing to look over these brief lapses of loyalty and always serviced my hair needs. But I can't go four months without a haircut. Some people can, I can't. Others can just buzz their head and it looks good, I can't. Something about having large ears and a very prominent widow's peak that makes a buzz a last resort option. By now, I've been in Denmark for two months, and my hair was getting to be pretty ridiculous. My hair doesn't grow long really, get a little curly, and get a nice flow. My hair is ultra thick, and just gets big. It's like a straight haired afro. To sum this all up, I can't have real short hair or real long hair, so I need to actually get pretty frequent haircuts. It was about that time last week. Friday was the day I decided to make it happen. I had been scouting places to go for awhile, trying to find the right combination of cost and quality. There was the Copenhagen school of hair and shit (that's just the technical term, the kids call it CSHS). It was real cheap, even by American standards. But do I really want to put something as important as my striking good looks in the hands of a high school drop out who was sick of working at Burger King and decided "Hey, I like hair and make up and stuff, I'll go to cosmetology school!" The answer is an obvious no. There was a real nice place down the street from CSHS, it looked like some real pros working the scissors in this joint. But this place cost like 300 kroner, and I was not paying over $50 for a haircut. I found this other place which seemed like a pretty good in between. It was just a Middle Eastern, middle aged couple running it. It was real small and cheap, but they seemed like they could give a good cut. I wasn't quite sure though. You need a certain element of trust with your hair dresser. There has to be chemistry. Claudia and I had that, so trying to find a decent hair cut in Denmark proved to be an arduous task. I decided on the last option. They spoke basically no English. I didn't think of this at the time, but maybe it wasn't a great idea to get a hair cut at a place where your only methods of communication are hand signals and the few mutually understood words that they possess in their very limited. Once in the chair we were able to settle on what they were gonna do to me. "Machine side, scissors top, just make it look good." That last part was my downfall. I didn't want to watch. I was borderline sweating, just real nervous. The end result was essentially a crew cut with really long flared bangs. It looks incredibly Danish, but terrible on me. I Skyped my mom tonight and was immediately told to cut my bans. I look kind of ridiculous. Claudia would have done me better. Claudia would have done me perfect. Random Middle Eastern lady in Roskilde, Denmark did me poorly. My hair might have a date with the clippers soon. All pictures have been confiscated and burned.
This weekend, most of my friends in my kollegium went on the booze cruise to Oslo. I already did this, so I was back in Denmark with a few friends. Saturday we decided to go into Malmo in southern Sweden. It's only like a 20 minute train ride from Copenhagen, so it's real easy. This 20 minute train ride wasn't smooth though. We forgot (OK, it was my fault) to buy tickets since we have all zones passes, so we just got on the train without a ticket. We narrowly avoided that 750 kroner ticket on the train by playing the ignorant American students card. That works a lot in Europe I've noticed. Upon our arrival into Sweden, my leg was starting to feel a little cramped. I didn't think anything of it, so we just kept on walking for about two miles. We ate lunch around noon, and when we got up, my lower leg completely locked up and I couldn't walk. I got to a park bench to check out my leg. I could barely even pull my pant leg up since my leg was so swollen. My entire lower leg is hot, swollen, and red, and there's a bite mark looking thing in the middle of my calf. The only diagnosis I could think of is a spider bite, especially because it actually looks like a bite. Luckily one of my friends had Benedryl, so I popped one of those and chilled for an hour or so. After this wait, my leg loosened up a bit and we were able to walk back to the train station to call the day early on account of a mystery leg wound. I've been taking Benedryl today to keep my leg loose, but I am absolutely going to the doctor tomorrow to get this checked out. I feel like that would definitely be the medically advisable reaction to this situation. Maybe if I'm lucky I will have to get it amputated, then I can get prosthetic limb and people could call me Peg Leg Pete! That would be the best result of this predicament.
I watched the entire first season of Community in 26 hours this weekend, and that includes sleeping, eating, and time spent out drinking. It is a fantastic show, I haven't been this hooked on a show since Weeds. I was more hooked after one episode of Community than I was after one episode of Breaking Bad, and that's saying something. But I literally did nothing by lay in my bed and watch this show all weekend. I was a bonafide couch potato, and it was awesome. I mean, I could have been productive and done homework, read, or file a police report about my stolen pink lady's model bike, but none of those options are funny. Community is so hilarious, yet incredibly deep and emotional. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. On a scale of 1-10, I'd give it 8.94 spankings.
This is going to be my last post for a few weeks unfortunately. I leave for a two week vacation from heaven on Thursday night. Four nights in Amsterdam for Halloween weekend, four nights in Paris, three in Barcelona, and four more in Prague may be the craziest/most expensive two weeks of my life, but I won't ever be able to do this again in my life in all likelihood, so I will definitely be living in all senses of the word. But it is going to get in the way of me blogging for that period. I probably won't write one before Thursday either, as I got lots and lots of shit to take care of before I go. I got ducks on ducks on ducks to get in a row. Hopefully I'll write a giant report of my trip when I get back, the only problem will be determining what is appropriate for this forum. But it's about time to watch the Vikes get slaughtered. But I'm gonna man up anyway and watch. The Minnesota sports scene is sad to have allegiances with this day and age. So instead of posting music this time around, I'm gonna cheer up all those Vikings fans out there with a little reminiscence. Enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE8sJI7PxQU
I'll talk to ya later.
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